How it all began
I didn’t know what it meant to be on a spiritual journey until 2020 was halfway through I didn’t understand fully the meaning of all of the experiences that I have been a part of since 2016 when this journey began you see many years before that I had made attempts to find solace in the peace of my relationship with God as I consider her to be this was often undermined by my human frailty. I gave up many luxuries of human living that I thought would keep me away from walking the path of purity that I long traveled upon. I would learn later on that those are just things that are vessels of consequence of purpose but they will not be a deterrent to our enlightenment.
I signed up for many courses I joined many groups or communities that I felt would allow me a space of belonging that I never felt was clear living in my own body I wanted to belong I wanted to be a part of something that I felt in new was greater than myself literally that I know that I had already held that position being a daughter of the divine creator.
My Journey in Kemetic Yoga
Coming from the Caribbean background anything that was not religious in nature ordained by Christian doctrine it was seen as the manic or blast-famous to say the least. So when I embark on my journey to yoga, I was faced with a lot of internal conflict as to how this would relate to the life that I currently living in Western culture. It was and remains a beautiful part of my awakening. I learned a vast amount of knowledge, culture and history about the origins of a practice so deeply embedded in all aspects of society. ￼Well the not so good side was there was an underlying tone of segregation and isolation within the community that I had chosen to attach myself to. And it reminded me that I’ve never felt like I belong I always felt as an outsider￼ in any group, cultural community or collective that I became attached to. I took the best of this experience and maintain many of the yoga principles in my life today.
The journey to sacred woman.
My journey as a sacred woman initiate it was a moment of excitement and bewilderment that I felt honored to participate in but unfortunately it left me empty and wanting more when I connected with a second woman program and its participants I always felt that the relationship was unbalanced with reciprocity I felt I gave more than I actually received and I don’t get me wrong I learned many useful practices to anchor myself in my spiritual journey but the Acceptance that I longed for to be a member of a sisterhood￼ was fleeting to say the least. it left me with a feeling of you can’t sit with us that is so rampant in our cultures and communities that isolate those who are awakening to spirituality. I felt Bound to this separation to an atonement of independence, free from collective collaboration. ￼But I yearned for it still.
This lack of acceptance feeling of belonging led me to connect with many within these bodies that violate in the sacred trust that I have with them and changed how I view these organizations and bodies of people there are many within these cultural gatherings that prey on the vulnerabilities of the unknowing. They seem to use the trauma you have experienced as a bullseye to target you for monetary reasons and other inappropriate behavior. I was exposed to such an experience. But this was a reflection of my past so when it happened I knew that I was not going to allow it to victimize me as my memories have I chose to empower myself with distancing myself from that behavior calling them out on that behavior and choosing to move forward with the good versus the bad￼.
My Insights and oversight
What we truly seek out of life is always seeking us. The distractions and experiences in life can and will cloud our discernment of it all. I gained this insight most recently as I reflected on many missed opportunities and much needed releases that I’ve made along my journey of self awareness. The takeaways from my experience have been recited by scholars, intellectuals and people just like myself for years. So it’s no wonder that I share them with you once more.
I learned that healing is an inside job. It us all up to you. How you allow your experiences, lessons and journey to change or transform you. Or how you will use everything to show up in the precious life you are now living.
Endurance is defined as the fact or power of dealing with a difficulty or challenge and not giving up. I acknowledged your ability to endure the uncertainty of your journey and stay on the path. Either way something always changes. The more you endure beyond the challenges of your own life experiences, the clearer your life becomes to you.
I acknowledged Perseverance. Despite the somewhat difficult situations that you may face, Don’t give up on yourself and the innate vision you have always seen for your life and destiny.
Consistency often means doing a lot of the wrong things frequently before the right ones would hold a greater meaning, at least this was what my journey revealed to me.
Discipline is always in the midst of it all. Whether our choices and experiences are good or bad, we build a practice through them.
I am still growing daily with how all of these experiences along my journey have taught me my greatest lessons. They have transformed my present life path to the flow I embody each and everyday. That doesn’t always fit a pattern or path that looks like anyone else’s and I’m ok with that and you should be ok too.
I encounter many people along my journey. Many of which often open up and bare there souls to me. This is one of my gifts awakened along the way, through my own vulnerability. My recommendations to those interested in awakening to their journey of spirituality is to start where you are. We are often taught and indoctrinated into systems that go against the grain of our own existence from the start. But our eagerness to fit in, to belong, overshadows that conflict. Listen to what your mouth often is not speaking. Allow your experiences and lessons to reveal your gifts to you. They will often show up when you’re not looking. Be ok, with not always finding the answers. They will come to you when they’re supposed to. Love and Accept yourself unconditionally! That’s how you will ultimately attract and cultivate love with others. Don’t be afraid to go against the grain of popularity. I saw a quote recently that said, the world is a mess so it’s ok for us to be a mess too. I say, the world is now in alignment to the people that live in it, or vice versa so now we can change what we need and want to. Keep growing with the flow of your life and experiences and never give up on you.