There are several realizations that have come with my own growth as a person in regards to how I choose to parent my children. Generations of women of my specific background and culture have adapted to the cultural norms of child rearing, principles of nurturing and Life path they expect there children to live. I have fought an internal battle to release myself of these patterns just to see what the potential for my children’s lives would be. Just maybe, if I break the patterns that brought out physical dis-ease towards the life planned for me they can evolve beyond these expectations.I’ll share a few of the realizations that I have accepted and release to move forward with my children.
Realization #1: My Children are so much like me I’m scared to deal with them sometimes. Ok. This is a sharp truth that I know others may chastise me for sharing. But in knowing the dynamics of personality, I’m cool. I’m probably the first mom to share it in such a public way that doesn’t sweeten their expressions through sarcastic candor. Who can relate with me, though? How many times have you engaged your child and thought, (speaking to yourself) “Well look at this!” “What did he or she just say?”. Makes you want to laugh or do you want to cry? I was in between. I hadn’t really grasped my children’s presence beyond those so called wonder years, or the sweet serenade from infancy to school age life. This is because I was programming them to be how I thought I wanted them to be. To Think how I wanted them to think. To act the same way and to be the child of my imagination, but in reality, we are growing out of the comforts of those predetermined cultural patterns. And its Ok.
Realization #2: If I’m not careful, I’ll turn into my mother. Many of us were raised by strong, Independent, determined women. Like my mother, they showed strength, good character, displayed great career principles and there capacity to grow beyond there circumstances has been the topic of many made for TV reflections. But the harshness in between these triumphant moments is another hard pill of truth to swallow. I acknowledge this personal truth to set myself free to rediscover what nurturing means to me.This is certainly not a declaration of finding the answers. Quite the contrary. I’m still finding my way, by looking back to grow forward in offering my children the fullness of my motherhood with all the blessings that my mother imparted to me.
Realization #3: Mother is my Masterclass. Motherhood is the greatest human experience in self love, awareness and also how to support my divine reflections (my children) in developing their own innate abilities. This goes beyond any educational, parental or societal standards. Once I let go of certain overbearing tendencies in this role(what my ego wants for them), I have learnt to honor being a part of their journeys. They are the best reflections of my physical manifestations. They are organic, uncut with textures of humanity i didn’t appreciate in myself. But I cherish wholeheartedly through them and accept the next chapters yet to be written in the course of motherhood.
I am looking ahead to what the future holds with much optimism in how my parenting can have greater impact and influence in the lives of my children. If you’d like to read more of my Realizations, you can get your own copy of my e-book here. What practical declarations or gentle acknowledgements are you making on your journey of parenting/motherhood? How are you transforming self acceptance as a parent? Have you had similar realizations that you’re bold enough to share? I’d love to hear them.